I tend to be a very regimented person. And while this definitely helps me in a lot of situations (like exercise, work, personal finance, for example), it can also leave me feeling in a rut. The problem is that most of the areas of my life in which I’m regimented tend to be the responsible, less-fun  stuff. Yes, there is a type A side to me…*sigh*

This exact situation arose just a few weeks ago. I had been putting a lot of time and energy into work and I didn’t feel like I had been as social as I’d like to be, and I also didn’t feel like I had that “zest” for life that just makes everything more enjoyable. I’ve come to realize that this to signals that I need to shake things up–or more specifically, it shows me that work and other practical elements are blocking my other needs, like that of play.

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My greatest satisfaction in life comes from helping out another person or group of people in a meaningful way. I used to teach English as a Second Language (ESL) every Sunday in my local library growing up. It was a humbling, warm, really gratifying experience. Understanding that the knowledge and encouragement I was giving to them helped them achieve tangible goals in their lives brought me a real sense of purpose; for one of my students I watched how learning English allowed him to ascend from dish-washer, to waiter, to manager at a restaurant. And that gave him more confidence, allowed him to feel more at home in a foreign country, and set a great example for his little brother. Kudos, dude.

Yet while I am grateful that helping others can be such a strong source of joy in my life, I also recognize that this–like everything else–has limits and downsides. I realize that I am susceptible to ignoring my own needs to please others. In particular, when I focus too much on others–their needs, their goals–I can quickly forget about mine until the joy of helping other abruptly transforms into resentment.

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